The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a
position in his company. He wanted to find out
something about her personality so he asked, "If you
could have a conversation with someone, living or dead,
who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The
living one."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~*~ * ~ * ~ > ~ * ~ *

Two blondes, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.
Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down
to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said,
"Hmmm, this person looks familiar." Patty said, "Let me
look!" So Carol handed her the Compact. Patty looked in
the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ > *

A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a
huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today
you expect me to show it to you!"

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ > * ~ *

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science
& Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and
someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought
for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~> *

The blonde reported for her university final examination
which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes
her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing
the coin and marking the answer sheet-Yes for Heads
and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done
whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During
the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing
the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator,
alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I
finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking
my answers.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~> * ~ * ~

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new
blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had
stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the
captain showed the stewardess the best place for
airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The
next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for
the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was
missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel
and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she
couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your
room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess
replied, "There are only three doors in here," she cried,
"one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a
sign on it that says, "Do Not Disturb'!"

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~> * ~ *

Q. There are three girls, all in grade 3: one a brunette,
one a redhead, and one a blonde. Which one of them
has the best body?
A. The blonde, because she's 19 years old.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~> * ~ *

Q. How do you measure a blonde's I.Q.?
A. With a tire gauge

1. She thought a quarterback was a refund.
>
>2. She tripped over the cordless phone.
>
>3. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
>
>4. If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
>
>6. When she heard that 90% of all crimes happen
>around the house she moved.
>
>7. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in
>front of the YMCA? "Look!, they spelled MACY's
>wrong!"
>
>8. Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?...they're
>too hard to retrain.
>
>9. What do you call nine blondes standing in a
>circle?....A dope ring.
>
>10. Why can't blondes be pharmacists?....because they
>can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
>
>11. What is a blonde's favorite nursery
>rhyme?...Humpme - Dumpme.
>
>12. What is a blonde's view of safe sex?...A padded
>headboard.
>
>13. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in the
>third grade, who has the biggest rack?...the blonde,
>because she's 18.
>
>14. What do you call a smart blonde?...a Golden
>Retriever.
>
>15. What's the definition of eternity?...Four blondes
>at a 4-way stop.
>
>16. What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the
>ocean?...An air pocket.
>
>17. What do you call a basement full of blondes?...A
>whine cellar.
>
>18. What did the blonde say when she looked in a box
>of cheerios? ..."Oh look!!!, donut seeds!"
>